You know, I’d have a much easier time taking the argument that there isn’t a misogyny problem in the “stop fetishizing mlm!” discourse seriously if certain people would stop using an actual fucking misogynist slur casually when they talk about it.
Most of them don’t even speak Japanese and have no idea about the culture surrounding it…
The term fujoshi literally translated is “rotten girl”. It’s a pun of the term 婦女子 (fujoshi) which means a respectable married woman. In the perjorative term, the “fu” character for “wife” is replaced with the “fu” character for “rotten.” It means a girl who is ‘ruined’/’rotten’ because she’s more interested in fictional men getting together with each other than herself getting married to a man. It’s a reclaimed misogynist insult toward women, and is not the same as calling the gay ships themselves sinful.
Fudanshi, too, has similar routes, meaning “rotten boy” – often times these are straight and bi guys who are ‘ruined’/can’t get a girlfriend because they enjoy stories about fictional men getting together. A similar thing happened with “otomen” a few years back, where the ‘maiden men’ were derided for liking shojo manga, cute mascot characters and so on. The fact of the matter is that these straight male shojo and BL fans CAN’T be fetishizing mlm because it’s clearly not a sexual interest for them – so what do they get out of reading BL?
It turns out that they want the same thing that female readers want – drama, romance, long-running stories, not PWP. Gengoroh Tagame noted that a lot of younger gay and bi male readers didn’t want the
hardcore BDSM that one usually sees in Gei Comi, and that’s why many
will turn to BL instead. It’s actually one of the reasons he decided to create “My Brother’s Husband” (a manga that focuses on gay family relationships which is really good and you should read) in the first place. Is there smut in BL? In some, yes, but not nearly as much as there is compared to heterosexual hentai and ecchi, and it’s not usually the focus of the stories. PWP is more common with Gei Comi/ “bara”. The fujoshi and fudanshi culture is one in the same, both men and women, gay and straight, can be fu-kei, as can x-gender people.
Speaking of trans people, Shihomi Sakakibara actually put forth the argument that the majority of afab BL fans were closeted gay trans guys who see themselves in the characters, and Akiko Mizoguchi stated that while offline many others may present as heterosexual girls, the fact that they share their sexual fantasies consistently with other women and are attracted to said roleplay/fanfiction partners while in character, they could be considered “virtual lesbians”.
TLDR; There are a bunch of assumptions and misconceptions made about fu-culture based on western perceptions of gay sexuality as well as the idea that all BL is PWP, but it’s not really all that black and white as “all fujoshi and fudanshi are straights fetishizing mlm!”
me, watching castlevania: i mean is dracula wrong tho
some people actually think sha//ura is That Couple™ but let’s be real here. They’re not. Hunay is. They’re that couple everyone wants to be like and are relationship goals. They’re that couple that silently judges people together through fake smiles. They’re that couple that holds the squad together. They’re that couple everyone sees and just know they’re gonna get married. And honestly, they’re flawless and deserve more attention.
It’s okay to draw fanart and write fanfiction that appeals to you, and you alone.
You’re allowed to ship whatever you want. Let me repeat this for emphasis: YOU ARE ALLOWED TO SHIP WHATEVER YOU WANT PERIOD.
Your own enjoyment and entertainment are valid reasons to write, draw, or consume something.
If this enjoyment takes the form of sexual gratification, that’s also a valid reason to writer, draw, or consume something.
Fiction does not have to be morally pure. Fiction allows us to explore things that we wouldn’t want to experience in real life, things like violence, sexual violence, drug abuse, sexual taboos, or kinks: all kinds of weird or disturbingt things, and that’s okay.
No, the narrative does not have to condemn these things explicitly.
You don’t owe other fans an explanation or apology for the things you enjoy in fiction
If someone asks you to reveal personal information, it’s okay to tell them to fuck off.
There’s no such thing as a fandom police. Whoever claims to have the authority to tell you what is or isn’t acceptable for you to enjoy, is just arrogating that right. Their strategy only works if you let them have this power, so don’t.
It’s up to each person individually to create a “safe space” for themselves.
Other people’s mental health is not your responsibilty.
Not wanting to hear about anyone’s personal trauma does not make you a bad person.
superheroladies 